I’ve been to space, like, a bunch. I’ve been writing, I met a world leader and I’ve been in the news. I’ve been in the daily paper. I’ve been in the monthly magazine. I’ve been creating things, I’ve been teaching things and I started working for the same alt weekly that wrote about my trip to space. Life’s been pretty sweet thus far. Heroes Rising unfortunately suffered.

I’ve been doing things… man.

I know blogging/social media is all about building community, engagement and being consistent but, damn it, I was busy doing that off-line. Which is what brings us to my unabashed, unapologetic attitude.  I am sorry that I’ve been inconsistent. April 2010 brought nearly 10,000 hits and I let that all go.

I also probono helped put on TEDxCharlotte 2011, TEDxCharlotteWomen, and BarCamp CLT 5 and 6.

Worth it.

It’s been a helluva 2011. I hope 2012 is all of that and more for everyone, just in case I don’t update for another nine months.

First we are children to our parents,
then parents to our children,
then parents to our parents,
then children to our children.

It’s not a difficult stretch for me to understand that in this era of speedy communications and speedy living that Boomers would, as most humans likely do, wish for a speedy death (when the time comes). Unfortunately for us, life simply isn’t like that all of the time.

From my perspective, it makes sense that Boomers would fear 1) outliving their money and 2) becoming a burden on their impatient Millennial children. It would scare the shit out of me if I thought the person caring for me, should I become enfeebled, was impatient in any way. Caring for someone, at it’s core, requires loving patience, something I don’t see in many of my cohorts currently. I am just as guilty of this. I want what I want and I want it now.

I have been exceptionally lucky in the past few months to have hospital experiences, with my Boomer mom and mother in law both discharged with a clean bill of health in the end, and I gained great insight on the topic. Both of these experiences have been vastly different and have given me some interesting perspective on what to do (and what not to do) when dealing with Millennials when it comes to death, or the potential passing, of a Boomer parent.

1) DON’T HIDE YOUR HEALTH INFORMATION FROM US!!! Be honest and straight forward. We are used to having the internet and it’s expansive world of knowledge at our finger tips. If you aren’t up front and honest with us about what’s going on, we’ll get our information elsewhere and wind up resenting you for, in essence, lying through omission. We feel entitled to this information. You’re our everything, please remember that.

2) Know when to tell us to get OFF the freakin’ medical websites. That same wealth of information we’re used to can actually be detrimental and over-stress a Millennial. #2 is irrellivant if you’re following my advice on #1.

3) Make sure you have things like internet passwords and key codes documented and stored safely, just in case. If your child is still dependent on you, financially or otherwise, this one is especially important. They will need access to YOUR online networks for support if/when things turn sour. I don’t have the addresses of more than half of my extended family but know that via my parent’s profiles online, I can get to them. If you lock us out, how will we be able to alert your friends and extended family that something has happened? The same goes for financial institution logins. If your child doesn’t have this info (if you don’t have a spouse), it’ll make things a lot harder for everyone.

4) Understand that if we’re on our phones a lot, it’s because we’re tapping our support network online, it’s not because we’re pulling away. Many Millennials have friends online who live potentially oceans away that they consider to be support in hard times, even if they’ve never met in person. The power of emotional support from a tight-knit online community is unparalleled.

5) Tell us we are going to be ok, even if you’re not. I personally believe Millennials, because of the delay of adulthood, are closer to their parents than many generations before (note I did NOT say that they love their parents more, simply that they’re closer.) Sometimes a child just needs to hear that they’ll be ok and it’ll mean a lot coming from the person(s) we derive a lot of our hope and optimism from.

End of life topics are always difficult and it’s true that there’s no solid answer that will make anyone feel better when they’re in such a tough situation. I even struggled with writing this post quite a bit because to even type the words just tears me up inside. I do hope this is helpful for someone besides me somewhere…

It’s going to be OK.

update: James of http://www.tomasinoblog.com made this fantastic point in the comments that really needs to be included on this post. Thanks James!

When it comes down to the end, to those difficult final days, it’s not our strength or our social networks that our loved ones need. It’s our presence, full and complete. That means for a lot of us we need to go to a place that’s not comfortable, not supported, downright vulnerable in order to be there for others. Sometimes we need to be unplugged.

As scary as it is for us, and despite what conversations we might be able to have with our seniors, what they see is our faces looking at a little box, not at them. There are so many places and opportunities for education about who we are and why we do what we do, but sometimes it’s way more important to give over, give that self-giving love that says, “you are more important.” That’s the power you feel holding a hand or praying with someone as they pass on. That’s the love.

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential.

~Ellen Goodman

Today someone came upon my blog by searching WordPress for “gossiping as a social power for women”.

In my post GenY Women in the Workplace I urged women to stop the gossiping. Dare I say there might be social benefit to gossiping I had never considered? I can’t ignore that question!

Apart from the obvious situations like spousal abuse or the like, gossiping does have it’s advantages… sometimes. Note: I am not endorsing all out gossip warfare. For the purposes of this post, let’s assume “gossip” means “watercooler chit-chat”, not bitchy “OMG IDK WTF” malicious gossiping.

What kinds of advantages, you ask?

1) Gen Y ladies are still learning the ropes in life.  Keen Millennials will listen and learn. Who’s doing well? Who’s mid-breakdown and, if they are, why? This type of intel will help reinforce knowledge on what to do and what not to do on someone else’s dime. These aren’t college classes but they are classes on the subject of life lessons. Watch, listen and learn for the cheapest education cost ever: FREE.

2) A heads-up on “the competition” isn’t always a bad thing. Just because the info is out there doesn’t mean it’s always actionable. Having a good perspective into the ‘real world’ matter of competition in life means a having a leg-up is a good thing.

3) Teamwork and trust is reinforced, assuming everyone is trustworthy and what they’re saying is honest. Which leads us to…

4) the importance of social accountability. Water cooler chit-chat gets around. It’s a fact of life. Some people actively avoid it, some don’t. It still remains that gossiping exists to keep other people accountable. I love this quote from “Gossip As A Gauge Of A Religion’s Commitment To Reality” by Luke Ford which pretty much sums it up:

Gossip undoubtedly destroys friendships, marriages, business partnerships and sometimes causes people to kill themselves and others, but much of the time, the damage that is blamed on gossip more rightly belongs on people who have acted badly. Such people often blame gossip for holding them accountable for their behavior.

So what do you think? Am I wrong? Let me know if the comments, please!

Being smart is useless.

…

Children who are told they are smart get lazy, while those who work hard know how to get past their blocks. You have to stop believing in yourself, and start believing in your work instead.

via You Get Noticed For What You Do.

• Tonight is the Let Love Reign photography exhibit I am doing PR/marketing for at work. I am STOKED! Catalina Kulczar-Marin is the chick behind me in this pic, taken by Armando Bellmas a few months ago. She’s one brave woman to spearhead such a hot topic: gay marriage equality!!!!

• Tomorrow I am co-teaching a class at Mobilize.org’s Target2020 summit for Gen Y/Millennials/soon to be recent grads on using social media to be heard in their community and attain the goals they set for themselves using the social web for amplification. The brilliant Katey Dietz is the other co-teacher. We’re going to rock it. It’s just that simple. Plus, I’ve been wanting to get into teaching far more and this is a great step towards that goal for me. Thanks to Katey for thinking of me! (Seriously, I owe her a lot. She must see something in me I don’t. ) If you’d like to watch us LIVE here is the link to do so: http://mobilize.org/get-involved/upcoming-summits/target-2020-my-education-our-future/

• In a little over 2 weeks (on Nov. 11) I’m speaking on a panel about social media careers at The Geekfest at Central Piedmont Community College! I love their tagline: Geek is chic! I’m the Director of Community for CLT Blog and From the Hip has me doing all kinds of fun social media stuff so it makes sense that they’d want someone who does all of that on their panel.

• The Southern Christmas Show is coming up soon, too! It also starts on Nov 11. This was one of the first things I attended when I moved to NC (My grandma Elaine always had a HUGE Christmas celebration back in Las Vegas, where I’m from) and I’m ready to go again! I like being festive, remembering my family and am really looking forward to it this year.

I’ve been noodling on some really interesting things lately about Millennials and spousal interaction/common ground using technology lately. Watch for a post on that coming up!

<3

I saw this quote on a bumper sticker once and, while I don’t generally take life advice from dogmatic sayings on cars, it stuck with me.

I love to find interesting convergences of seemingly unrelated things that somehow make sense in life when they’re jumbled all together at once.

I’ve been watching a lot of the TV show Hoarders. As a general observation I have heard a lot of comments on the show about people who have become hoarders being children of the Great Depression in one way or another. Either they themselves grew up in it or their parents did.

Let me tell you. One day-long binge of nothing but an entire season Hoarders is intense motivation to get rid of all of the shit in your life. That said, this weekend we are having a yard sale. LOL

In picking through everything we own looking for stuff that has no emotional value, little to no physical value (to us) and items that we feel are junkin’ up our bungalow I noticed a theme to many of the items I felt grossly inclined to retain: vintage/old items that were crafted WELL before I was even a thought.

A lot of the stuff we’re getting rid of are newer things, surprisingly. Well, I’m not ALL that surprised. The quality of the items made these days has declined so things that are 40 years old are still at the same, if not better, quality as the things manufactured 5 years ago that have a much shorter lifespan because they aren’t built to last.

Back to hoarding, the Great Depression, bumper stickers and my own fetish of cherishing old stuff.

In this day in age, I feel like everything in my material life is disposable. It’s JUST.STUFF. But why then, do I love having a Jetson’s looking midcentury Danish modern coffee table that used to be my grandmas? Why do I choose to keep a fugly red-grape velvet chair from the early 1960′s? Because they last longer. The IKEA couch I’m on right now doesn’t stand a chance at lasting 50+ years.

So the statement I’m making is this:

1) Millennials need to watch out that they don’t become hoarders and it needs to be monitored closely. Everything is available and with the pairing of disposable material items and economic hardship similar to the Great Depression, Gen Y is already pre-disposed to being hoardalicious.

2) Gen Y is going to be most inclined to retain functional items over a longer amount of time because of the coinciding elements of over-connectedness to parents (so when they’re gone the kids will hold onto their things) and the desire to be green giving way to an unwillingness to dispose of things if they aren’t 100% perfect or in need of minor repair.

Moral of the story: Pick the things you hoard with care and don’t let it get out of control.

My friend Olga says it best: ”I know exactly what you’re talking about, I did the SAME thing after watching that show! They’re only things! It’s like you end up with so many things that you can’t enjoy your things!”

LOL

There is plenty of research about the so-called Millennials — people ages 18 to 29 — to suggest you can’t lump them all together. Not only is this group likely to become the most educated generation in American history, according to a Pew Research Center survey this year, it is also the most racially and ethnically diverse. At the same time, this generation’s 37 percent unemployment rate is certain to affect taste. It may explain an underlying conservatism in fall fashion — penny loafers, camel coats, longer hemlines — that goes beyond “Mad Men” hype.

What does unite this generation is the Internet, in particular online shopping and blogs like that of the street photographer Garance Doré and sites like Polyvore.com, where users play editor-slash-stylist and can see what’s for sale on the top sites.

Women like Ms. Byun, or Lauren Wynns, a 27-year-old law student in Washington, who works for a business consulting firm, or Nicky Deam, a 25-year-old publicist in New York, do much of their shopping online. Ms. Wynns, for one, said she now gets most of her fashion information from online retailers like Lagarconne.com, Revolveclothing.com and Shopbop, and from blogs rather than magazines. And because a lot of high-end apparel is hard to find online — compared with the amount shown on runways — it’s not surprising that young women now seem to gauge their interest in a brand not in terms of its prestige or craft but rather in terms of its accessibility. Even if Ms. Wynns could afford their products, she said, “their Web sites aren’t really tailored to a great shopping experience.”

You can understand why brands like Chanel want to limit their Web exposure, but what happens to interest if the immediate outlet is blocked? “This is not a generation that will wait to get a number for admission,” said Candace Corlett, a partner at WSL Strategic Retail in New York, a retail consultant. “They’ll find another way to get what they want.” via Fall Fashion – What Do Young Fashionistas Want? – NYTimes.com.

Female role models. For Millennial women they’re our mom’s. But what of those ladies worth looking up to that are just beyond our day-to-day nurturing and guidance from momma?

Enter Princess Madeline’s awesome self.

I recently read that she’s working for Childhood Foundation (her mom, Her Majesty Queen Silvia’s org) in New York! I’m jealous! She works with UNICEF also. What an awesome job!

I personally look up to her because she’s heavily engaged in civic duties and, oh look! She looks up to her mom and works with her! LOL

She’s still young and I feel like she’s a great Gen Y role model and still can have fun at halloween and be a total babe: