Sometimes it’s vital to your career path to apologize. So, here’s my take on how to apologize at work:

1. When that flush of hotness comes over you when you’re about to get really freakin’ mad, that’s your body’s indicator that you might be doing something rash. So the first step is to immediately stop whatever you’re doing. Try to stop BEFORE you’ve hit send that flaming ball of hate e-mail. Calm down for a second, then move onto #2.

2. Take a break and call your mom. Mom’s know you best and know where you’re coming from but aren’t scared to tell you when you’re being completely belligerant. No other person on this earth can get away with it. Being young you rely pretty heavily on the experience of others to guide you. Whatever your mom suggests, it’s probably the best thing to do. She’s going to tell you to apologize. And to mean it.

3. You need to be the first person to inform your manager of the situation.

FESS UP IMMEDIATELY that you acted irrationally. Don’t say anything along the lines of “I sent this email but so-and-so made me so mad by doing xyz!” You’re just going to come across like a whining child.

Address the issue in ways that take responsibility for your actions. The less emotional you can be about the situation, the more you’ll be heard. One thing I’ve personally learned is that people can’t hear your message through your emotion so containing your emotions is equally, if not more important than, fessing up to your boss.

4. It’s important that you apologise, even if you don’t want to, in person. . When you apologise, be humble.

You might be in the HR office when you’re apologising, you might not be, but the presence of HR is vital. Not only does this help you in the future when your performance reviews come around by showing that you’re willing to admit openly that you’ve made a mistake, but it also protects you from the verbal lashing the recipient of your rudness might have pent up. Adding that 3rd party makes sure everyone plays by the rules and that your apology will be formally accepted (informally- good luck!).

5. The 5th step is preventative maintenance. Learning to listen to your hormones bodily signals so you know when you’re doing drastic things is VERY important. Not only will it help you in other areas of your life, it’ll help you NOT have to apologize so you can continue thinking you’re right all the time. ;)